


peanut butter and jelly

by hyunibunni



Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Fluff, Gay, M/M, Marijuana, Opposites Attract, Recreational Drug Use, Strangers to Lovers, astro ficfest, ballet dancer! minhyuk, one sided binwoo, skater! sanha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-28
Updated: 2020-09-28
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26694277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyunibunni/pseuds/hyunibunni
Summary: sanha didn't think minhyuk would like him. they were too different.— for ASTRO FICFEST 2020 prompt #1: skater boy sanha has a crush on ballet dancer rocky.
Relationships: Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo & Moon Bin, Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Moon Bin, Park Minhyuk | Rocky & Yoon Sanha, Park Minhyuk | Rocky/Yoon Sanha
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47
Collections: Astro FicFest 2020





	peanut butter and jelly

**Author's Note:**

> thanks meenie for editing <3

“sanha!” the boy jumped, chin slipping out of his hand where it had been resting for the past ten minutes. jinwoo and bin were staring at him across the table. 

“what?” he snapped, forcing his head down to the horrid school lunch he’d yet to touch. he picked at the french fries with a scrunch in his nose at the thought of actually eating them. 

“jesus san,” jinwoo said, his own voice turning tough at sanha’s harsh tone with him, “we were just asking you if you were coming with us tonight. you ignored us like three fucking times.” sanha wanted to tell jinwoo to fuck off and leave him alone. he wanted to just leave school all together. he was just having one of those days; started off with a test, then forgot about a presentation in third period and wasn’t prepared enough, and now though it was only the middle of the day, he didn’t have the energy to listen to jinwoo ask him stupid questions and snap at him. even still, sanha held his tongue. 

“you good?” bin asked him, the nicer of the two in sanha’s opinion, “you’ve been quiet the whole day.” sanha just nodded. jinwoo was annoying as shit sometimes, he was hotheaded and cocky, and unlike bin, sanha didn’t have the patience to deal with it. but ultimately he knew they were friends and getting mad because he’d interrupted his daydreaming wasn’t exactly a valid reason to be mad at him. he felt a hot rush of shame wash over his cheeks and bit his lip hard to shake it off. 

“are you coming or not?” jinwoo pressed, now getting irritated at sanha’s lack of response. 

“no, i have to babysit.” sanha said, relaxing his shoulders and leaning back in his chair. his eyes unconsciously fell to the boy with the chocolate brown hair across the lunch room. 

“isn’t soobin old enough to take care of herself?” bin asked, genuinely curious. sanha kept staring across the room. he was laughing at something his blonde friend had said. they were loud, but not so loud that sanha could make out what they were saying. he desperately wanted to though. 

“she’s eight.” sanha answered. 

“my parents left me home alone when i was eight.” jinwoo said. sanha furrowed his eyebrows,

“your parents aren’t mine.” sanha fired back. he crossed his arms, maybe to comfort himself as his desire to leave for somewhere that was quieter grew, maybe to keep his heart in his chest as he continued to watch the pretty boy whos name he so desperately wanted to know. 

“what the fuck are you staring at?” jinwoo asked, aggravated, spinning to search the cafeteria for some spectacle or reason for sanha not paying attention to him. sanha tore his eyes away from the object of his affections. 

“anything but your ugly face,” sanha snorted. jinwoo whipped back around, enraged and probably ready to punch him. bin silently put a hand on his arm and jinwoo yanked his own away, but didn’t do anything. sanha would forever be thankful for bin, always keeping the two in line. sanha decided that as, he wasn’t eating anything and jinwoo was even more aggressive than usual, that he would leave. he wanted to be alone anyway, so he made an excuse to get up,

“i’m gonna go work on something,” he said as he gathered his bag, “in the library.” he knew they didn’t believe him, but he didn’t need them to because even though they knew he wasn’t going to the library they wouldn’t bother him if he left. he was politely telling them to piss off. 

“okay,” bin said, looking a little worried as sanha stood to leave, “see you tomorrow?” 

“yeah.” sanha left, making a point to walk past the table where the pretty boy was sitting. he didn’t look at him, he didn’t wave, he just walked past. he knew it was pretty cowardly of him, and ridiculous to assume that he would bother looking at him even though he was just walking past. but part of him liked to believe when he did that he got the other boy’s attention, even for just a moment. 

***

“sanha can you take me to the store?” soobin asked sweetly as soon as their parents left. they’d yelled in from the door that they were leaving so sanha was still in his room on his bed, playing a cellphone game as he listened to a podcast playing from his laptop to put off his homework. his little sister had come in only moments later to jump on his bed and lay next to him as she asked the question. 

“what do you need at the store?” 

“i want pink nail polish,” soobin replied solemnly. 

“you have pink, ballet pink remember?” 

“i want hot pink though,” soobin argued, “and besides, i don’t have teal and i want teal too. for my toes.” sanha sighed and stabbed his finger into the space bar of his laptop. he turned his head to look his sister in the eye,

“and who’s paying for this nail polish if i do take you?” he asked with playfully narrowed eyes. 

“me!” soobin exclaimed. it was not the answer he was expecting and he was about to ask her how in the world she had money when she came home from school nearly every day with a bag full of snacks from the vending machines. but she lifted up a mess of bills that probably added up to about ten dollars and sanha had to admit he was impressed, “i’ve been saving my allowance!” she told him proudly, “i have more, but this is how much i need for polish.” 

“how responsible of you,” sanha mused, sitting up. “alright, grab your shoes.” soobin cheered and launched herself off the bed, sprinting back to her own room to get ready to go. as sanha had his license but didn’t have a car, the siblings usually took the bus everywhere they needed to go if their parents weren’t home. currently, his parents were together in the expensive car that he wasn’t allowed to drive, the problem was that the other car was at the shop getting new tires after they’d put it off for so long. sanha didn’t mind riding the bus, it could be crowded and he’d certainly seen his fair share of creeps, but for the most part people were polite and reserved on public transport. to save space, sanha sat in an open seat and soobin stood in between his legs with his protective arm around her side to keep her close. 

it was a ten minute ride to the store and as much as sanha enjoyed outings with his sister, he couldn’t help but think about what a waste of time it was. to ride a bus for ten minutes only to spend about five in the store and then have to wait for the bus to come back. he supposed it could’ve been worse, soobin was a chatty girl and she usually kept him very entertained talking about kids in her class or her most recent art pieces. she wanted to be a painter when she grew up. that was what she told everyone. as they climbed onto the bus she began telling sanha about how she really wished there was glitter that didn’t make a mess, because it was so pretty but she wasn’t allowed to use it because of said mess. sanha didn’t tell her he was glad she wasn’t allowed to use glitter anymore. a few of his shirts had gotten put in the wash with her glitter stained clothes once and for at least a week it didn’t fully come out. 

it took him until they sat down for sanha to notice the guy from school was on the bus. he was directly across the aisle, nose buried in his phone with his headphones in. sanha’s throat went dry and he couldn’t help but stare. he shifted in his seat, crossing his legs and pushing his hair back as he lifted his phone up so he wouldn’t have to hunch over anymore. he must’ve known he was being stared at because he looked to the side and made quick eye contact with sanha, eyes darting to meet his and then back to his phone. sanha felt his face go red. 

“sanha can i paint your nails when we get home?” soobin asked, “i want to practice before doing mine.” 

sanha nodded absently, “sure, soo.” the boy picked up his water bottle from the bag at his feet and took a swig. sanha felt dirty watching his throat move as he swallowed. he looked away, properly paying attention to soobin, trying to figure out what they were talking about now in case he was going to be asked questions later. the bus hit a deep pothole and all the passengers got knocked around in their spots. the boy across the aisle had bent down to put his waterbottle back in the mesh holder on his bag. but with the bump and the way the mesh was curved in, he wasn’t able to open it with the end of the bottle. because he wasn’t paying attention, he’d let go of the bottle, thinking it was in the slot when in reality it went tumbling across the bus. sanha instinctively stuck a foot out to stop it before it could get too far or end up popping open. the boy’s eyes widened, a hand flying up to his mouth, embarrassed. sanha picked it up, brushed off dust from the floor and his shoe, and handed it over. 

“thank you.” the boy said, smiling gratefully as he took it back. his voice was firmer, louder than he thought it might be but oddly, it fit him. sanha found comfort in the fact that the boy’s smile was contagious and he didn’t end up looking like a fool, mindlessly gaping at him. he grinned back with a brief nod,

“no problem.” sanha’s heart was racing but he refused to continue staring at the pretty boy. he’d managed his first interaction with him to go well, he would not spend the rest of the bus ride undoing that progress by creeping the latter out. so he threw himself into conversation with his sister until they got off. 

***

park minhyuk. that was his name. earlier in the year sanha had tried to learn his name but failed miserably. he didn’t sit in front of sanha so he had no way of knowing which name was his if a ‘here’, or answer to a question came from behind him. sanha also couldn’t be trusted to pay attention to his teacher for longer than ten seconds at a time, and doodling helped as it gave his brain something mindless to think about while also processing the words that the teacher was saying. even then, on most days sanha would get lost in his drawing and wouldn’t listen until his own name was called last. 

he also couldn’t very well just ask someone else what his name was because no one would understand why he cared and he didn’t fancy explaining that he might have a massive crush on a guy he doesn’t know. he didn’t know anyone else in this school who was gay. if there was someone else, they were as good at keeping it a secret as he was. and he wasn’t about to be the first one out and alone. so he gave up, choosing to silently watch him from across the lunch room and daydream about him in class. 

now though, after speaking to him on the bus, sanha knew the sound of his voice. it was so unique and ingrained in sanha’s brain that he was sure he would remember it if he heard it again. so when their teacher got out the role sheet sanha straightened up in his seat, straining his ears and silently praying he would be higher up on the list. their teacher was slow — perhaps as a consequence of her age, which was yet another reason sanha had a terrible time paying attention to her speak. but when she got to park minhyuk and sanha heard that voice from the bus, he knew. he spun his head in time to see minhyuk lowering his hand that he’d raised for role call. 

“is something in the back of the room more interesting than my class, mr. yoon?” their teacher tittered, making sanha wince. he turned back around with a quick shake of his head, embarrassed he’d been caught staring. 

“no, ma’am.” he said, keeping his eyes down and lips pursed. she turned as sanha noticed with his peripheral vision. safe from her prying eyes, sanha snuck another look at minhyuk. he was already staring back. sanha didn’t know where all his confidence was coming from considering that boy’s face alone made his insides jello and his brain static, but he smiled, smirked even, too happy and smug to find he already had minhyuk’s attention. minhyuk’s eyes widened for a moment, just slightly before a soft smile of his own slipped on to his lips. sanha turned back around, already dubbing the day a success before it had even begun, all because a pretty boy had smiled at him. 

***

“drooling over boys we won’t ever talk to again, are we?” myungjun teased, coming around the side of the table to sit across from minhyuk and dongmin, blocking their view of the boys across the lunch room they had been staring at. 

“they’re right there,” dongmin droned sarcastically, “you expect us not to look?” 

“you have a reason to watch wistfully from afar,” myungjun said, “what’s your excuse?” he asked, looking to minhyuk for an explanation. for at least a two months now minhyuk had been swooning over some lanky boy with black hair, a few chains and a skateboard, who probably had a nicotine addiction and regularly disrespected his mother. myungjun suspected he was a class a douchebag, as most skaters myungjun had ever met were. “you, at least, have a class with him,” myungjun continued, eyes wide and impatient. 

“he wouldn’t like someone like me,” minhyuk found himself saying. myungjun blinked slowly, disbelieving, like it was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard. which it was. 

“and just what is that supposed to mean?” 

“we’re too different,” the boy shrugged primly, picking up his tiny sandwich and regarding it dubiously. 

“according to who?” scoffed his friend. “ you’re ridiculous, i look at the two of you and see a couple that the school will be jealous of.” 

minhyuk didn’t reply. his gaze wandered to sanha across the cafeteria once again, lingering on the lazy way he handled the bland cafeteria french fries, the rings on his fingers catching his eye under the lights. he grinned at something his friend bin said, flicking his head to the side to move his bangs off his eyes, and minhyuk had to hold himself back from sighing. sanha and his friends oozed cool. myungjun said they looked like thugs what with their baggy clothes and rather arrogant attitudes. but he just didn’t like jinwoo (because jinwoo was a genuine asshole) and he liked to generalize, though he was nice to continue supporting minhyuk’s hopeless crush. sanha was different in a way minhyuk couldn’t quite explain. he was polite and he had such a lovely smile. he got distracted easily but he wasn’t a total knucklehead, and the way he stared at minhyuk made his skin crawl with giddy goosebumps to think for a moment sanha might be interested in him. 

*** 

“i need you to pick up your sister from dance.” 

“okay… why can’t you?” sanha asked, sitting up in bed and discarding the homework he’d been trying to read to the floor. 

“something came up at work and i’ve gotta go back in,” mrs. yoon sighed, stuffing a weathered notebook into her purse. “dad’s got a company dinner so i can’t ask soobin to wait for him. please, sanha?” 

“yeah, yeah i got it,” sanha nodded. mrs. yoon walked a little further into the room to give her son a quick kiss on the forehead, 

“thank you,” she left in the next second, the accidental slam of the door echoing through the apartment in her wake. sanha slipped on his shoes and grabbed his skateboard. he had time before he was to pick her up and, as it was a nice day out, he’d rather not be cooped up on the bus the when he had a perfectly good alternative. the dance studio wasn’t too far away, though he did have to pull up directions because he’d only been one other time to pick soobin up since she started going just a year ago. her recital was held at a different location, in a proper theatre. 

it felt good to be back on his board. it hadn’t been that long but every time he stepped on the board he got a rush like he was breathing fresh air again. it was one of the only things sanha could do that occupied all of his mind at once and it was nice to move at a slower pace sometimes. he weaved around people, stopping only for red crosswalk lights which was when he checked that he was still going the right way. he made it to the studio with five minutes until soobin’s class was out. he wasn’t the only one in the waiting room, but he was the only one who had seemingly wandered into the wrong building. in order to save himself from having to sit awkwardly next to one of the moms, he remained standing. in front of him there was a studio in use with the door closed, the others along a hallway to the left. sanha walked over to the corner of the room where it was less populated. he peered into the studio through the thin window, wondering if soobin was inside. 

she was not. instead, there were ballerinas running through a dance. sanha continued to watch anyway. they were graceful and strong, a quality sanha always admired in dancers. among all the female dancers there was one male, joining them in their pirouettes, leaps, and pliés. sanha’s throat dried up the instant he realized who it was: minhyuk; sanha would know his face anywhere. he watched in amazement at the sight of the boy he’d been crushing on for months perform his heart out. it was an unexpected hobby and talent, and even though sanha didn’t really know minhyuk, he felt it made sense. it fit him. 

he was stunning to watch, not only was he simply skilled in his technical abilities, but the way his body moved, every ripple in his muscles on display through his tight clothing, every curve of his back or arms perfectly circular. sanha was entranced. his eyes followed minhyuk until their dance finished and he, along with a few of the female dancers, collapsed onto the floor, gulping down water and shaking their legs out in front of them. 

at the same time the older kids were finishing their practice, the younger ones got out of theirs. spotting sanha among the parents, soobin lit up, excited to share all the stories she’d gathered in the hour she’d been here. she knew better than to try and recount everything here what with all the other, much younger and more obnoxious kids yelling at their own parents. as she sat at his feet and pried her ballet shoes off, the door of the closest studio opened. three teens walked out, minhyuk among them, laughing and playfully shoving one of his friends further into the lobby. his eyes did a quick sweep of the lobby as he turned to listen to something his friend behind him was saying and he caught sanha’s eye. there was no time to react as minhyuk and his friends were moving out into the street the next moment but sanha thought for a moment he saw something foreign flicker in minhyuk’s eye. it could’ve been a trick of the mind — but for a moment, sanha thought he saw fear. 

***

the next week when soobin had dance, sanha picked her up even though he had a paper to write and his parents were free to do it themselves. he practically begged to, claiming it was quality sibling time and his parents could think of no reason to object. sanha just wanted to watch minhyuk dance again, even if it was just for a little bit. he didn’t want to come any earlier than five minutes like last time in the event that the window he was looking through was two way and minhyuk might notice him staring. those five minutes flew by and soon sanha was greeted with a bubbly soobin, once again ready to share all her stories of dance practice. they left before minhyuk and his friends came out of the room this time and as they walked out of the door sanha sent one fleeting glance back at the unopened door. 

last time, minhyuk hadn’t taken the bus home it seemed because he hadn’t been at the stop when they arrived. now though, he stopped on the sidewalk right next to sanha and his sister to wait. sanha tensed and once again forced himself to give his full attention to soobin so he wouldn’t look like a creep staring at minhyuk or making it obvious that his presence effected him in some way. because they were there first, minhyuk stepped back a little to let them go before him. it was a full bus, every seat filled which left everyone getting on the bus now to stand until a stop and people got off. sanha and his sister went to the middle of the bus to stand and as the bus filled up, minhyuk ended up closer to the front. 

after being a chatterbox from the time it took them to leave the studio to now, soobin was quiet, worn out. the first stop wasn’t too far along the route and in all the movement three seats opened up right behind them. he gently pushed soobin into a seat, letting her feet rest. he sat next to her, a protective arm around her shoulder. after all the bustle of people shifting around and others getting off the bus, sanha glanced around. minhyuk wasn’t standing and sanha’s heart sunk thinking he’d missed his chance to be around him today. pathetic he knew, just wishing to be around him instead of actually talking to him. he slumped back in his seat, head falling back and hitting the window behind him a little harder than he meant it to causing him to wince. 

“you okay?” someone asked. sanha froze. he knew that voice. sitting next to him with one earbud out, looking at him with utmost concern etched into his features, was park minhyuk. sanha felt his throat dry up and tried to play it cool,

“yeah, long day,” he said with a light chuckle. minhyuk nodded understandingly,

“sanha, right? yoon sanha?” they both knew minhyuk knew his name. unlike minhyuk, keeping silent every day in class, sanha was often called out for dozing off and on occasion he answered easy questions when he could just to get participation credit. 

“yeah. park minhyuk? literature, you sit in the back, yeah?” again, they both knew sanha was right. just a few days ago sanha had caught minhyuk staring at him from the back of the room. neither made any effort to point out that they were aware of each other before this moment. while it was the first time they’d ever spoke, outside of that one time minhyuk thanked him for picking up his water bottle, there was still a weird feeling in sanha’s chest that told him if he acted like he knew minhyuk off the bat things would be weird. 

minhyuk nodded, “your sister?” he asked, nodding to soobin who was now asleep against sanha’s side. 

“yeah, you guys dance at the same studio apparently,” sanha replied after giving his little sister a glance. minhyuk seemed a little thrown off guard that sanha mentioned dance, as if he’d been hoping he might have forgotten about seeing him there. “how long have you been dancing?” he asked. minhyuk swallowed hard,

“uh, years?” he said, sounding embarrassed. but to sanha’s delight he continued without prompting, “i started when i was little. my parents wanted me to try everything so i did like every sport but none of them interested me like dancing did.” 

“and you do ballet?” minhyuk’s cheeks were bright red now and though sanha felt bad that minhyuk was embarrassed that sanha knew he did ballet, all he could think about was how pretty the blush was on his skin, “i may have looked in while waiting for my sister to finish. you’re really good!” 

“thanks,” minhyuk relaxed a little, “i do pretty much everything actually. i’m in company, it’s like… varsity for dance? i guess? we do over five dances every year. openers, closers, it usually depends on the recital theme. but my favorite is always ballet.” 

“how do you have time to learn all those dances?” 

“i’m at the studio every day for like three hours,” minhyuk shrugged. sanha would be a liar if he said he wasn’t immensely impressed. his greatest accomplishment in his life so far, learning how to ride a skateboard, while not the same at all, was starting to look like amateur shit compared to what minhyuk’s hobby was. “don’t look too impressed,” minhyuk teased and sanha snapped his mouth shut, unaware it had been hanging open in the first place. minhyuk laughed good naturedly at him, leaning a little to him as he did. minhyuk looked up and grabbed his bag, “my stop is coming up,” he said. sanha’s heart fell, 

“right, yeah.” there was a moment of awkwardness where minhyuk didn’t move, biting his lip and staring intently at the floor, and sanha let his eyes wander to the other end of the bus, kicking himself for sounding like a damn caveman with his dull response. then, minhyuk looked back to the door and grabbed his phone from the side pocket he’d stuffed it in when he and sanha started talking. he opened it and out of the corner of his eye sanha could tell it was open to a new contact. he felt faint. 

“you think i could have your number?” minhyuk asked carefully. when sanha didn’t answer right away he quickly added, “it’s stupid but… i’ve always wanted to talk to you.” 

“you have?” sanha sputtered, pulled so abruptly out of the pretty-boy-asked-for-my-number induced gaze it was as if his head had been dunked in water. 

“yeah,” minhyuk grinned sheepishly, “you’re like, really cool.” 

“you might be the only person who thinks so,” sanha laughed. he took minhyuk’s phone and entered his phone number, saving the contact for him. as the bus rolled to a stop he put the device back into minhyuk’s hands with a smile. minhyuk looked like he wanted to say something else but with limited time to get off the bus he didn’t. he stood and sanha watched him until he was off the bus and they were moving again. with minhyuk gone, sanha inhaled as deep as he could. he felt like he’d held his breath the whole time they’d been talking and now found himself winded, heart pounding, cheeks flushed like he’d just finished running a marathon. natural, he supposed, for someone who had a crush. 

***

minhyuk was way too easy to talk to. even on the bus the first time they’d ever had a conversation, sanha later realized he hadn’t made a fool of himself and had been able to carry a conversation with the dancer. something he didn’t honestly think he was capable of because of pesky things like nerves and the assumption that they didn’t have much in common. but if sanha had known it would be this easy to talk to minhyuk he would’ve done it ages ago. their conversations flowed so easily, void of awkward breaks or dry responses and sanha was thankful he’d gone and fallen for someone so interesting and sweet. when he felt like he was being boring or got nervous he said something stupid minhyuk unknowingly swooped in and reassured him every word he said was appreciated, with perfectly casual responses. they hadn’t talked much in person since then, it had only been a week, and sanha didn’t pick up soobin from dance which got him a text from minhyuk asking where he was with about fifteen frowny faces that melted sanha’s heart. 

minhyukie: why r u sitting by yourself

sanha !!!: because jinwoo’s sick and bin has a group project he’s being forced to work on rn 

minhyukie: you look like such a loser 

sanha !!!: ouch wtf 

minhyukie: you didn’t let me finishhh  
minhyukie: come sit with me and my friends  
minhyukie: they don’t bite come on  
minhyukie: sanha i can see you watching me stop being a creep and come here 

sanha !!!: your friends are scary 

minhyukie: oh that is SUCH bullshit and you know it 

as sanha was typing out a smartass answer, he missed seeing minhyuk stand up from his table and walk briskly to sanha’s, stopping in front of him with his arms crossed. “do i have to drag you out of your seat?” he asked. 

“you called me a loser,” sanha retorted though his heart was beating wildly and begging him to stop playing this game before minhyuk started to think he really just didn’t want to sit with them. he was glad though that even though they hadn’t spoken in person in a week, minhyuk felt no need to slip back into the formality of kindness and felt comfortable teasing him. it was an interesting change from the quiet, reserved minhyuk sanha had known before but a welcome change nonetheless. sanha would gladly let minhyuk insult him every day if it meant they were getting closer. “why would i want to sit with you?”

minhyuk seemed to dwell on his words as though he had something he wanted to say but was scared to. and his moment of hesitance did nothing to stop his confidence because he leaned over with a smug grin and sanha’s heart stopped at his response, “because you love me.” he straightened up and gave sanha an expectant look, eyebrows raised and head cocked to the side. 

“fine,” sanha groaned, pretending to be annoyed. minhyuk grinned ear to ear and turned on his heel to return to the table as sanha picked up his food and bag. he currently did not love minhyuk for abandoning him and making him walk to their table himself. as much as minhyuk assured him his friends were nice people sanha was way out of his element here and could practically feel the judgemental stares he was bound to get when he sat down. minhyuk had been kind enough to kick one of his friends to the other side of the table so they could sit next to each other, but then sanha felt bad that his friend had to move because of him. 

“sanha, this is myungjun and dongmin,” minhyuk said as soon as he sat down. he’d never met either of them and he’d never even seen myungjun around the school before. but sanha recognized dongmin because he always sat next to minhyuk and while his attention was on the latter, he had noticed dongmin doing his own staring whenever bin opted to sit on the other side of the table. he suspected he really wasn’t the only one with a secret gay crush in this school. 

“nice to meet you,” dongmin said politely, smiling a little. myungjun just looked him over and said nothing. 

“he’s just being rude,” minhyuk said, sensing sanha was put off a little by myungjun’s blunt dislike of him, “don’t mind him, he just thinks you’re an asshole like jinwoo. and i’ve told him you’re not — oh, no offense,” minhyuk winced. “i mean, i know he’s your friend but…” 

“no, it’s cool, he’s annoying as fuck,” sanha reassured him. 

“see, i told you he wasn’t like jinwoo,” minhyuk said. myungjun just huffed, either reluctantly admitting defeat or still not believing sanha was a nice guy. the group fell into normal conversation quickly after that, no one letting myunjgun’s behavior dim the mood. sanha didn’t participate in the conversation though he did pay attention to it. he didn’t exactly know when he realized it, but at some point he stopped paying attention and was focusing very hard on not staring too much at minhyuk because he’d discovered that the dancer had a nose piercing. how he’d never noticed it before was a mystery to him and he wondered if maybe it was new even though it was a hoop and sanha knew it was better to get a stud and change it later. as hard as he tried though, he was not stealthy enough to escape myungjun’s prying eyes. 

“why do you keep staring at him?” he asked, eyes narrowed. sanha gulped. for as innocent as myungjun seemed upon first glance sanha might even say he was more scared of him than jinwoo on a bad day. 

“i just… nose ring,” sanha stuttered, pointing to it as red blush crawled up his cheeks, “i didn’t uh, notice it before.” he hated how flustered minhyuk’s stupid nose piercing was making him. minhyuk giggled next to him and myungjun’s expression softened, it seemed he finally approved and even if to get it he had to embarrass himself in front of minhyuk to get it, sanha would consider that progress. 

***  
sanha wasn’t sure if this could count as a date. technically he supposed it wasn’t because they weren’t dating and he hadn’t asked minhyuk out on a date, he just asked if he wanted to go grab food sometime to hang out. a very straight occasion because he didn’t have the guts to make it gay. lucky for him, minhyuk agreed happily, seeming excited and dispelling any nerves sanha had: primarily wondering if it was too soon in their friendship to be asking such a thing. they met up at the front of the school after the last bell. minhyuk beat him there and sanha found him sitting on a bench under a tree, out of the way of the students and in the shade. minhyuk, as usual, had his headphones in and was watching something on his phone. curious as to what consistently had the dancer’s attention, sanha walked up and sat next to him, leaning over to see what was playing. minhyuk jumped in surprise, a hand flying to his chest as the other pulled his earbuds out. 

“what are you always watching?” sanha asked, suddenly aware of how close they were now that minhyuk’s phone was turned off and they were looking at each other rather than it. 

“ballet,” minhyuk answered, turning his phone back on to show him. the youtube video was paused and the title was shown in the left hand corner. “swan lake, it’s one of the most common ones but it’s my favorite.” 

“is it like, a story? like i know recitals have, like, themes, but if that’s just one ballet then what’s… the point?” 

minhyuk cracked a wide smile, clearly happy sanha seemed so interested, “it’s a story, yes. for studios like the one your sister and i go to sometimes do story driven recitals, but most times they have simpler themes like a genre of music, or something broad like ‘around the world’. professional ballets are like plays or musicals, telling a full story through dance.” 

sanha made an ‘o’ shape with his mouth in understanding. “so what’s swan lake about?” he asked. minhyuk glanced down and then met sanha’s eyes again,

“i can tell you on the way?” he offered. “i’m really hungry,” he added sheepishly. 

“oh yeah! totally,” sanha stood, and they began walking down the street. it wasn’t like the walk was terribly long, because of the school there were at least two convenience stores within a ten minute walk from the main entrance. for a little while they didn’t speak, walking along almost awkwardly. when they were nearing the first of two crosswalks they would need to cross, sanha spoke up, assuming minhyuk was staying quiet because earlier he might’ve gotten the impression sanha was only asking to be polite, “so… swan lake?” 

it seemed he was right because minhyuk looked up suddenly, letting his surprise show before cracking a smile and looking ahead again, “it’s a love story. a princess named odette is trapped in a lake as a swan for all hours of the day except for a few at night when she becomes human. a prince of a nearby kingdom is at a party meeting potential fiances and he steps out for a moment, going to the lake. he meets the princess and falls in love with her, promising his heart to her and in turn promising to free her from the spell she’s trapped under,” they began crossing the street, “the prince goes back to the party to finish out the night and there he’s suddenly met with a woman who looks just like odette. she seduces him and breaks his vow of fidelity to odette, when he does this the villains reveal themselves in triumph. the prince runs to the lake, begging for odette to forgive him and ends up drowning himself in the lake. the princess is freed by his act though she remains a swan forever.” they made it to the second crosswalk and stopped at a red light. 

“damn that’s… tragic.” minhyuk laughed, leaning ever so slightly into him,

“yeah. but the dance is beautiful,” minhyuk took a deep breath, “i’d like to properly perform it one day. on a stage, with a company,” he added softly. the sign to walk turned green and the pair made their way across the street to the corner their destination stood. inside it was nice and cool and they were alone with the cashier, though it wouldn’t be for long, as more students started coming in. they made their way through the snack aisles, grabbing ramen and chips and bringing them to the counter. when they got up there, minhyuk hung back, holding his food instead of setting it down. sanha rolled his eyes,

“can you ring me up for his too?” he asked the cashier. the older woman smiled kindly and nodded, ringing his stuff twice because they were the same price. either minhyuk hadn’t heard him over the blasting of the air conditioner overhead, or he didn’t want to make a fuss about it in front of the cashier. when sanha pulled him away after paying, he figured it had been the former because minhyuk confusedly protested, 

“i haven’t paid yet sanha.” he said, looking back at the cashier. 

“i paid for you.” sanha told him, dragging him to the hot water station off to the side, tucked away behind some shelves. 

“why’d you do that?!” minhyuk exclaimed, hands on his hips with a cross expression on his face. 

sanha just grinned, “i asked you to come hang out with me so i’m paying,” he said, “it’s just ramen — it’s like two bucks, don’t even worry about it.” 

“okay,” minhyuk huffed regretfully, turning to fix his own bowl of ramen while he pretended to be mad about it. but sanha could see his smile, he was so awful at hiding it. they sat down by the windows and almost immediately minhyuk was scarfing down his food, clearly not kidding when he said he was hungry. sanha watched him for a moment before leaning forward a little and fixing him with an inquisitive stare,

“why do you do that?” minhyuk paused, chewing the bite in his mouth slowly before swallowing and meeting sanha’s eyes with a confused and slightly nervous expression.

“do what?” he asked. 

“why do you always try to brush off your hobbies when people bring it up?” sanha pressed, ”the first time i saw you at the studio you looked scared when you saw me, the second time on the bus when i asked you were embarrassed, just a few minutes ago you only explained swan lake to me after i asked a second time. why do you avoid talking about dance?” minhyuk shifted in his seat, looking away,

“i don’t generally get the feeling people actually care,” he shrugged, “that, and it’s not exactly normal for boys to like dancing, much less for their favorite kind to be ballet. i don’t want people ruining it for me by making fun of me.” 

“you don’t think i care about what interests you?” 

minhyuk spared him a glance, “it’s not that…” he picked at his food, “it’s just like i said on the bus, you’re really cool and i-.”

“just because you think i’m really cool doesn’t mean i’m a shitty person minhyuk,” sanha interrupted with a laugh, “and you’ve gotta stop saying that i’m really cool. you sound like you’ve never taken a look in the mirror.” 

minhyuk’s eyes widened and sanha finally took a bite of his ramen with a smirk. “oh,” the dancer said smartly. 

“i personally think it’s super cool —” sanha was starting to hate that word, “ — that you dance. i mean, dancing is hard! ballet is even harder! you gotta balance perfectly and since you’re a guy you gotta hold the other dancers up sometimes — yes i saw that part — i mean, it takes a lot of strength and practice.” 

“yeah, it does,” minhyuk murmured, once again failing to hide his smile. sanha wanted to reach over and lift his chin up so he could see it and scold him for always acting so bashful whenever he and sanha were alone, but he held back. they were friends, sanha felt comfortable calling minhyuk that, but even still he felt like there was a boundary. telling minhyuk he was beautiful and that sanha wanted to see him smile was that boundary. and for now, sanha was okay with friendly outings if it was the only way to be close to minhyuk. 

*** 

sanha was very not okay with just being friends. surely the dancer was oblivious to how he affected sanha because at the rate they were going sanha was afraid he might just say ‘fuck it’ and kiss him the next time he saw him. they’d hung out twice more in the two weeks following the first time, and now sanha made the trip to pick up his sister every time she had dance just to see minhyuk. sanha had managed to open him up enough to the point where during the most recent ride home he’d talked about how his practice went with the same enthusiasm as the little kids in soobin’s class. 

every little thing he did; tying his hair in a little bun when he got hot, leaning into sanha when he laughed, waving hello to soobin when he met them for the bus, his delighted laughter whenever sanha had the pleasure of saying something funny to him, fiddling with his nose ring as if he was just trying to get a rise out of sanha, it was all starting to drive him insane. and because sanha wasn’t out to anyone, he had no one to talk to about how bad he wanted to kiss minhyuk stupid and make their friendly hangouts official dates. just the sheer thought of it all made sanha’s lungs constrict and stomach tie up in knots. so, sanha found himself at bin’s house saturday afternoon. 

“is there any particular reason you have to talk to me right this second?” bin asked, letting sanha into his house. 

“did you have anything better to do?” 

“no,” bin admitted with a sheepish smile, “but you kinda scared me over text. why the hell were you being so ominous?” sanha glanced at mrs. moon who was in the living room not so far away, and bin’s brother in the kitchen at the table. he shoved bin towards his room,

“not here.” he said, continuing to shoo bin when he didn’t immediately make a move to leave the main area of the house. once inside sanha locked the door, just to be safe not that he really suspected anyone would be coming in or eavesdropping. bin’s eyes widened and he crossed his arms,

“what the hell, sanha? why’s the door gotta be locked for you to talk to me?” he asked, growing annoyed and even more confused. 

“i need to tell you something because if i don’t tell someone i think i might explode and you’re the nicest person i know besides my sister but i cant tell her because she wouldn’t exactly get it,” sanha told him all in one breath, “and i feel like this is something i’m supposed to do in person.” bin’s espression instantly changed to concerned,

“what’s going on, san?” he asked gently. weirdly enough, sanha wasn’t that nervous. he didn’t feel like he thought he should’ve felt when coming out for the first time. yes, it was a big deal, but weirdly he was more excited than anything. 

“i have a huge crush on this guy in my literature class who sits behind me,” sanha said looking bin in the eye, “i’ve liked him pretty much all year but we started talking recently and i feel like if i don’t tell someone i’m going to combust because of my own bottled up feelings.” there was a beat of silence and sanha inhaled between his teeth, awkwardly clapping his hands and holding them in front of him, “yup… that’s, that’s what i wanted to tell you.” 

“did you just come out to me?” bin asked. 

sanha groaned, “oh my god. no, i want to kiss a boy but i am very much straight. no homo here,” he retorted sarcastically. 

“you’re gay?” 

“yes, for fuck’s sake, do i have to spell it out for you?” 

bin shook his head, “no, i’m sorry i just… i don’t know how i didn’t see that before.” 

“you had like, no idea?” sanha asked dumbfounded, “not even a little?” 

bin shook his head again and sat back onto his bed, “no not really,” he leaned back on one hand and looked up, “so, this guy? who is it?” sanha leaned back against one of bin’s walls,

“park minhyuk. know him?”

“that name sounds familiar,” bin nodded, “i dunno how though, i feel like i’d know if i had a class with the guy.”

“he’s pretty quiet in school,” sanha said. “god, he’s so pretty,” he sighed. 

“have you made a move or something?” 

“i mean, i’m friends with him now.” 

“oh, don’t give me some bullshit about not wanting to ruin your friendship,” bin groaned.

“no, no, i get the vibe he might actually be interested in me. i just don’t know how to bring it up or, like, go about asking him out. i’m so shit at this.” bin laughed, not disagreeing with him, 

“you’ll figure it out.” 

sanha sent him a glare and annoyedly raised an eyebrow. “helpful bin, helpful.” 

***

bonuses of coming out to bin included texting in all caps whenever minhyuk was cute and not feeling bad about it in the slightest. bin exceeded sanha’s expectations in terms of being a supportive friend, not only did he listen to all sanha’s hopeless gay ranting, but he replied just as enthusiastically and made an effort to figure out who minhyuk was. all of this made sanha more at ease as he walked up the steps to minhyuk’s apartment building, his thumbs staying busy to relieve his energy while he acted calm and collected on the outside. he knew he wasn’t the only person invited along with minhyuk and his friends but he didn’t need to be the only one to be excited about the fact that minhyuk wanted him to be there. bin was getting text after text play by plays until the door opened and sanha went up just one flight of stairs to see minhyuk’s head poking out of his door. 

“hey,” he beamed upon seeing sanha approach with snacks, “we have so much food already,” he said with a small laugh. 

“oh, you thought i was sharing this?” sanha joked. 

“i invite you to my house and you don’t even share your snacks in return!” minhyuk gasped, “how rude, yoon sanha!” 

“sanha’s here?” someone called from inside. it sounded like dongmin. 

“yeah!” minhyuk called back, “come on.” he opened the door wider for sanha to slip in. directly in front of them was the living room where a group of five guys and one girl from their high school, most of them people sanha knew and could enjoy the company of, were sitting in various places: dongmin and myungjun on the couch, many of them on the floor, one guy and the girl sharing a lounge chair. minhyuk took his hand and dragged him over, forcing myungjun to move over so they could sit, careful not to knock into dongmin who was busy expertly packing two bowls to pass around with some previously provided weed. sanha dumped the food in his arms on a spot on the floor where there grew a pile of all kinds of junk food. 

“alright. we need a tiebreaker vote, sanha,” one of the guys, bomin, said from across the room. “horror or comedy movie?” 

“horror,” sanha replied easily, plopping next to minhyuk in the space the latter had made for him on the couch. as he did so there was a chorus of cheers from the rest of the group who had wanted that answer from him. minhyuk was not one of those people and he groaned a little, just enough for sanha to notice he was unhappy with the choice, “you good?” he asked, nudging minhyuk a little. 

minhyuk leaned down to the food pile and pulled out a bag of puffy cheetos, “yeah, horror movies are okay but i don’t really like them.”

“scared?” sanha teased.

“hardly,” minhyuk scoffed, popping a cheeto into his mouth, “they’re boring and predictable.” sanha laughed as the title credits for their horror movie pick, the conjuring, started rolling on the screen and hyunjin got up to turn off the main overhead lights. 

“pass this to minhyuk,” dongmin said, handing one of the bowls and a lighter to myungjun, “host goes first.” minhyuk wiped his hands off and without knowing, he and dongmin took their first hits at almost the exact same time. 

“why do you get to start the other one?” myungjun teased, feigning annoyance. 

“i packed it,” dongmin grinned around the smoke billowing from his lips. 

“and it’s my weed,” hyunjin spoke up, playing along with the annoyance act, “i shoulda gotten it first.” 

“i didn’t use yours yet, this is what i had left of my stash,” dongmin retorted, passing the bowl to myungjun next to him. minhyuk nudged sanha’s arm, putting the bowl and lighter in his hands. he watched sanha as he took a long, deep inhale, holding the smoke as he passed the bowl on to the next person. only when he laid back against the couch did he blow it out. he turned to meet minhyuk’s eyes and share a small smile with him. minhyuk shifted a little so he was leaning ever so slightly into sanha’s side, offering him a cheeto from the bag in his hands. 

the group got comfortable in the dark, cracking open nearly all the chip bags as the movie continued playing out. dongmin refilled the bowls once they were cashed and they were passed around once more. at some point hyunjin pulled out a dab pen which he passed around to everyone after bomin asked for a hit from it. all sanha could keep track of was how long it took minhyuk to lean fully into him, head tucked into sanha’s neck and his hands playing with the rips on sanha’s jeans. once that happened he lost all track of time, relishing in the wonderfully comfortable warmth between them. 

“didn’t you get pizza?” myungjun whispered to minhyuk a decent way into the movie. minhyuk took a moment to remember before nodding,

“you guys want pizza?” he asked everyone else. there was a collective ‘yes’ from them. so minhyuk tore himself away from sanha to stand, wobbling for a second before getting his balance and turning to silently ask sanha to come with him with just a nod of his head. so with one of sanha’s fingers in his hand, minhyuk led him away from the group to the kitchen. he turned on a dim light over the island and began fishing a frozen pizza out of the freezer. sanha stayed silent as he preheated the oven and sat himself up on the counter. he met sanha’s eyes for a moment, stoic before a smile spread his lips wide apart. sanha pushed off the counter he leaned against to stand between minhyuk’s legs, his hands keeping him steady on the counter. 

“you good?” minhyuk asked him quietly with a small giggle. sanha lifted his head with a smile and nodded. he wasn’t exactly sure how it happened, but they both had fallen silent with the sudden closeness created when sanha lifted his head. and then suddenly they were kissing and sanha felt like he was drowning. but he didn’t even have time to move his hands or step closer before minhyuk pulled away sheepishly. “sorry,” he mumbled. 

“what?” sanha whined, eyes half closed, blindly chasing after minhyuk’s lips, “why are you sorry?” minhyuk didn’t answer but let sanha kiss him again, properly this time. his brain a puddle at minhyuk’s feet, sanha gave up on trying to focus or stay grounded. minhyuk kissed with an eager desire that was too fast for sanha to keep up with but it was exhilarating to try. 

“hey!” sanha only registered someone calling out onto them as the reason they’d stopped kissing well after minhyuk pulled away from him for the second time and gently pushed him out of the way, “i don’t want burnt pizza because you two can’t keep your hands off each other.” 

“it hasn’t even been put in yet, will you chill?” minhyuk snapped, shooing myungjun away. hands lifted in surrender, myungjun left them, trusting they wouldn’t get distracted now that minhyuk actually put the pizza in the oven. he probably shouldn’t have left because the second the pizza was in the oven minhyuk turned to sanha, looped his arms around his neck and locked their lips once again. 

***

sanha waited impatiently for minhyuk to arrive, bouncing his leg up and down. watching it move served as his only distraction. they didn’t have much time before classes started and sanha wanted to get this over with as fast as he could. finally, the door opened and minhyuk walked in looking as nervous as sanha felt. he noticed sanha standing there and stopped, standing there in the middle of the bathroom, waiting for sanha to say something. 

“so. i think we should probably talk about it,” sanha started. 

“about last night?” minhyuk guessed, “yeah.” 

“i just want to know what you’re thinking ‘cause if you just want to forget about it then —”

“forget about it?” minhyuk interrupted, confused. 

“well, i dunno,” sanha shrugged, “look, i can’t exactly forget about it that easily, i mean i’ve wanted to kiss you for months and i always kind of had a feeling that you were into me… but i mean we were stoned so i didn’t know if you, like, didn’t mean anything serious by it.”

“yeah…” minhyuk smiled a little, “but i don’t go around kissing just anyone, sanha. not even when i’m high.” 

“so you…?”

“wanted to kiss you really bad? yeah.” sanha exhaled a breath he didn’t realize he was holding in. he met minhyuk’s eyes and they shared a smile, “i’d really like to go out with you.” 

“same here.” 

“then do you want to get food after school?” minhyuk asked, stepping closer. sanha beamed, 

“i’d love to.” 

***

coming out to bin had been very easy. coming out to his parents had been a little stressful but ultimately was fine because sanha was very lucky to have parents that had shown support for the lgbt community before they knew. coming out to jinwoo had been incredibly stressful because sanha knew his track record and on paper he had all the boxes checked for the role of classic homophobic prick. but he surprised bin, sanha, and myungjun by fully supporting sanha and offering to beat the shit out of anyone who gave the couple trouble. minhyuk had made myungjun apologize for consistently calling him an asshole. ‘coming out’ to the school (more like people finally realizing they were dating) had been a whirlwind of drama sanha and minhyuk tried their best to just stay out of. 

it had been a month and sanha was almost certain he was in love, finding himself nearly saying those three words any time minhyuk did anything. they’d made friday dates a regular thing, always going to the same convenience store to stuff their faces with ramen. afterwards minhyuk usually stole sanha’s skateboard, and even though he’d only had four lessons, dance had given him incredible balance so he was getting good faster than sanha had when he’d been learning. still, minhyuk liked to pretend he didn’t know what he was doing just so sanha would hold his hand as he slowly rolled along the uneven sidewalks. 

minhyuk finally went over to sanha’s house and the very first night he stayed over they’d had a wonderful adventure of getting high and then sneaking out to get food when the munchies hit and they both had very specific cravings that couldn’t be satisfied with the food in the yoons’ pantry. they were met with sanha’s mom getting water in the kitchen when they got back and could only smile fondly as they carried on without even seeing her watching them giggle and shush each other like kids. before they knew it graduation had come and they’d been together for five months and sometimes sanha couldn’t believe it. 

he spent so long thinking he would never get along with minhyuk because of some stupid idea that they were too different. but minhyuk wasn’t his opposite just because he liked ballet and soft indie music. rather, he was a compliment to sanha’s alt, skater-boy aesthetic. they just worked, went together as perfectly as peanut butter and jelly — minhyuk’s favorite midnight snack. sanha didn’t like to dwell on the past and the thought that he could’ve become minhyuk’s boyfriend sooner if only he didn’t spend so long thinking ‘opposites’ didn’t attract.

**Author's Note:**

> <3


End file.
